The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It) Read online

  Marri looked from one to the other. “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a transfer student. I just came here to study. Honest.” She reached into her pack again and dug out two small wooden tokens.

  Anne walked over and read the inscription on the first token. “Pie artisan?”

  Marri blushed. “I know, it’s not exactly the greatest adventuring role. It’s what I drew from the Bag of Chance.”

  Anne smiled at her reassuringly. “You’re not alone. I was supposed to be the thief of the group, but I drew a blacksmith token instead.” She brought out her token to show Marri. As always, it felt unusually cool to the touch.

  Anne squinted at the second token Marri was holding. It contained only four letters. “What does A-C-T-P stand for?” she asked.

  “Adventure Career Training Program,” said Marri. “That’s the program that allows me to study abroad for a semester.” She pointed to the still-sleeping wizard. “Professor Sassafras brought me in here and told me this is where we’d be having our first class.”

  “It is,” said Anne. “And you’ll have to excuse our behavior. We were told no new students would be enrolling, so we were taken a little off guard when we saw you in here.” She extended her hand. “I’m Anne. This is Penelope and Hiro.”

  Penelope and Hiro also held out their hands, albeit more cautiously.

  Marri shook each of their hands eagerly. “Oh, I already know who the three of you are,” she said. “In fact, I’d be surprised if anyone on the Hierarchy hasn’t heard about you and your adventures by now. Did you really defeat the dragon queen all by yourself?”

  Marri was referring to their previous quest. Anne had been forced to fight the queen of dragons after the queen had taken possession of a giant metal dragon body.

  “That’s… not quite the way it happened,” said Anne.

  “Sure it is,” said Penelope, and she slapped Anne on the shoulder. “Anne’s just being modest. She totally slayed that dragon. And before that she finished a Level Thirteen quest.”

  Anne frowned.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” said Marri. “It’s just, I’ve never met anyone famous before.”

  “That’s okay,” said Anne. “You’re not prying, and for the record, I’m not famous. I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “Twice,” muttered Hiro.

  Marri glanced at Anne’s left hand. “I’m surprised you’re not wearing it now. Your gauntlet, I mean. I guess I assumed you would keep it with you at all times.”

  Anne shook her head. “Because of the temporary restrictions placed on the school, we’re not permitted to carry any quest-related items around campus. The gauntlet is stored in a safe place.”

  Marri looked disappointed.

  “So where are you from?” asked Hiro.

  “The outer tiers,” said Marri. “A little place called Riverhold.”

  “I don’t think I’ve heard of it,” said Anne.

  “It’s a pretty cold and desolate place, to tell you the truth. In fact, if there’s a bright center to the Hierarchy, Riverhold is on the tier that it’s farthest from.”

  “There is a bright center to the Hierarchy, in fact,” said Hiro. “It’s called the BGFM.”

  Marri smiled. “I know that. I was just making a little joke.”

  “Oh.”

  The Hierarchy consisted of millions of tiers—giant floating islands—that circled a pulsing sphere of magickal energy known as the Big Glowing Field of Magick, the BGFM. Saint Lupin’s was on its own tier, approximately four miles in diameter, with the school situated at the center. Most of the tiers were packed together in tightly layered rings that orbited around the BGFM’s equator, but there were also smaller clusters of tiers drifting around the poles and elsewhere—the outer tiers.

  “So, why did you transfer to Saint Lupin’s?” asked Penelope, a hint of suspicion remaining in her voice. “It’s not like we’re the top-ranked academy, especially with our current suspension.”

  Marri coughed and stared awkwardly at the floor. “I, um, had some trouble getting into the other academies. It’s… kind of a long story.”

  Anne’s heart went out to Marri. She knew only too well the difficulty of trying to get into a quest academy and the toll a growing pile of rejection letters could take. One of the things Anne liked so much about Saint Lupin’s was how accepting it was of students, no matter their background.

  “Excuse us for a moment,” said Penelope, and she pulled Anne and Hiro into a huddle. “Should we believe her?” she whispered.

  “Why wouldn’t we believe her?” Anne whispered back.

  “Our overall track record with new students joining the group hasn’t exactly been stellar. We’ve been on two quests so far and a new student joined us for each one. It was a total disaster both times.”

  “Hey, I was one of those new students,” said Hiro. “What’s wrong with me?”

  Penelope began checking off her fingers. “You blew up the original quest academy, set fire to the royal palace, caused an avalanche that nearly buried a small village—”

  “How was the avalanche my fault?”

  “Because I said so.”

  “You’re exaggerating things,” said Anne. “There’s nothing wrong with Hiro, and technically we weren’t even an official group until he joined us. And there was nothing wrong with Valerian, either, for that matter.”

  Penelope crossed her arms. “You mean Valerian the half-dragon thief who stole your gauntlet and unleashed a giant metal dragon on the entire Hierarchy?”

  “The giant metal dragon wasn’t his fault. And he fought on our side in the end.”

  Hiro held up a finger. “Can I say something?”

  “No,” said Anne and Penelope in unison.

  “Look,” said Anne. “I’m not saying there haven’t been… challenges… but we have to give Marri a chance. We can’t judge her before we even get to know her. And you and I both know there are many reasons why quest academies might unfairly reject a prospective student.”

  Penelope scowled at this, but Anne could tell she had won her over.

  “Fine,” said Penelope. “But if she turns out to be a half-rhinoceros, half-carnivorous jellyfish, I’m going to say I told you so.”

  Before they could pursue the matter further, Sassafras let out a loud snort. His eyes popped open, and he gripped the podium with his bony fingers. “And that’s why you should never stare directly into the eyes of a basilisk pumpkin.” He adjusted his spectacles and looked at the group of them. “Why are you all standing?”

  “Er, we only just arrived, Professor,” said Anne. “Class hasn’t started yet.”

  Sassafras rubbed his eyes. “That’s a relief. I hate it when I sleep through the beginning of a lecture—especially when it’s my own.” He gestured to Marri. “I see you’ve met our newest student. We explored a little bit of the grounds on our way here, but I trust you three will give her the grand tour after class.”

  “Certainly,” said Anne.

  “Good. Then everyone take your places, please, and we’ll get started.”

  Anne, Penelope, and Hiro all took seats near Marri, and Sassafras began pacing in front of the class.

  “So, normally this would be Magick 101, but due to the suspension we’ve had to make a few adjustments,” said Sassafras. “So, welcome instead to a class that is sure to be of tremendous value to you no matter your chosen vocation, equal parts fascinating and dangerous, a subject no person who considers themselves to be a true student of the humanities can do without: Introduction to Flower Arranging. In this class, we will study the nature of various plants and flowers and, er, how to arrange them.”

  Penelope’s hand shot up.

  Sassafras stopped his pacing. “Yes, Ms. Shatterblade?”

  “Aren’t these substitute classes kind of pointless? I mean, I know you’re not allowed to teach us anything about quests, but how is arranging flowers going to help us?”

&n
bsp; “Well, you never know when an obscure bit of knowledge might come in handy. And there’s more to flower arranging than meets the eye.” He picked up a small object from the top of the podium. It was a twig. “For instance, does anyone know what this is?”

  Anne gasped. “It looks like the branch Mr. Shard used on our first quest!”

  Penelope squinted at it. “I think you’re right. Whenever he tapped it, it grew into a bridge.”

  Sassafras nodded. “Very good. They’re called everlasting branches. Quite rare. And the dead ones do make useful bridges and such in a pinch. But the live ones have even more peculiar properties.” He set down the first twig and picked up a small plant pot. The pot contained another twig, but this one had a tiny purple flower growing from it. “For instance, if you simply hold a live one and concentrate, it will shape itself into the thing you most desire at that moment.”

  Sassafras held out the twig and closed his eyes. The twig began to lengthen and widen, with branches shooting off to the side. It grew so big that Sassafras had to set it on the floor. The twig had transformed itself into a bed with a group of purple flowers arranged as a pillow.

  “Just what I needed,” said Sassafras. He snapped the bed off from the original potted twig and handed the pot to Penelope. “Now it’s time for you students to have a turn. Ms. Shatterblade, why don’t you try first?”

  Penelope took the pot in both hands and held it out. The twig lengthened and flattened into a long blade, and a branch formed itself into a hilt.

  “Excellent work,” said Sassafras, snapping off the sword and handing it to Penelope.

  Penelope gave it a few swings. “Good balance. Too bad it’s not the real thing.”

  Penelope was officially the fighter of their adventuring group, but first-year students were only permitted to carry wooden practice swords.

  Sassafras handed the pot to Hiro. “You next, Mr. Darkflame.”

  Hiro cleared his throat and held the pot in a slightly trembling hand. At first the twig began to expand into a long ornate quarterstaff, like those often carried by full wizards. Before it finished transforming, however, it shook violently and exploded in a shower of sawdust, causing everyone to flinch and the platypus to duck inside the sleeve of Sassafras’s robe.

  “Whoops!” said Sassafras, snatching the pot away. “That can happen sometimes with magick users. Ms. Blackwood, how about you try next?”

  Marri took the potted twig apprehensively. She closed her eyes, and the twig began to grow. It twisted like a vine, with delicate branches shooting off and curling around one another. When it finished, the twig had transformed into a small model of a three-masted airship. There appeared to be a symbol on one of the sails, but Anne couldn’t quite make it out. She wondered why Marri’s greatest desire at the moment was for an airship.

  “That’s so cool!” said Penelope.

  “Yes, you definitely have the knack for it,” said Sassafras, and then he turned to Anne. “And now, last but by no means least.”

  Anne took the pot and closed her eyes. The pot quivered slightly, but nothing seemed to be happening. Anne opened one of her eyes and peered down at the twig. It hadn’t grown in the slightest.

  Sassafras placed a hand on Anne’s shoulder. “Not to worry. Sometimes it takes a while to get the hang of it. Give it another try.”

  Anne sighed. None of the others had needed a second try. Even Hiro had made it change (before it exploded).

  “Sorry to interrupt, but is that a supply ship?” asked Hiro.

  Everyone looked out the windows. A medium-sized airship was rising over the nearby forest, its sails fully unfurled. It didn’t appear to be leaving, though. If anything, it was slowing down. Numerous figures could be seen running about on its deck.

  Sassafras squinted. “It could be a supply ship. I can’t be certain, though, because there’s a large patch on the sail covering the symbol.”

  “That’s weird,” said Penelope. “And anyway, supply day was last week, wasn’t it?”

  Back when the Matron ran Saint Lupin’s, a supply ship only stopped by once every year. Ever since Anne had become the Rightful Heir, however, and the campus required major renovations, the supply ships had been stopping by once per month.

  The ship slowly rotated until it was parallel to them. A dozen portholes opened along the side, and a long black barrel extended from each porthole.

  “What is it doing?” asked Anne.

  Penelope walked to the back of the classroom and pressed her nose against the window. “It’s hard to make out, but I think those are cannons.”

  “On a supply ship?”

  There was a puff of gray smoke from one of the black barrels in the center. Seconds later, a loud crack split the air and rattled the windows.

  Penelope nodded vigorously. “Yep, they’re cannons all right. I wonder who they’re shooting at?”

  A high-pitched whistling grew louder and louder.

  “I think they’re shooting at us!” yelled Hiro.

  Before anyone could move, the wall in front of them exploded in a flash of blue light.

  TAKEN FROM THE HANDY PAMPHLET CAPTAIN BLIGHTROT’S TIPS FOR HOW TO TALK LIKE A PIRATE:

  1) Call everybody “Matey.”

  2) Randomly threaten to make people walk the plank.

  3) When in doubt, just keep yelling “Arrr!”

  The Battle of Saint Lupin’s

  Anne lay on the floor of the ballroom covered in debris. Her ears were ringing, and she fell into a brief coughing fit from all the dust in the air. The explosion had shattered two of the windows and collapsed a portion of the wall and ceiling. Dog flew over and began licking her cheek. She sat up unsteadily and checked to see if anyone was injured.

  “Why is a supply ship shooting at us?” yelled Hiro, who was lying facedown on the floor with his arms shielding his head.

  “Maybe Jocelyn asked for an extension on the school’s credit, and this is their way of saying no,” Penelope said as she brushed herself off. She crawled over to one of the unbroken windows and raised her head just enough to see outside. “They took the patch off the sail. I can just make out the symbol. It looks like a giant letter O with a giant letter X under it. O-X spells ox.

  Hiro scrambled over and took a peek. “Actually, I think that’s the symbol for poison.”

  “Cows are trying to poison us!”

  “By shooting cannonballs at us?”

  “Haven’t you ever heard of lead poisoning?”

  Marri and her chair were covered in bits of plaster. Anne scrambled over and helped her remove the worst of it. Marri did the same for Anne, picking pieces of plaster from her hair and brushing the dust from her shoulders.

  “Are you hurt?” asked Anne.

  Marri shook her head. “Just a little shaken.”

  “It looks like they’re coming around for a second pass. We need to get out of here!” said Penelope. “Where’s Sassafras?”

  Anne quickly scanned the room. The middle of the floor was covered in shards of glass, pieces of broken window frame, and chunks of plaster, and everything was coated in dust. There was no sign of their teacher.

  “Maybe he went for help,” said Hiro.

  “And left us to fend for ourselves?” Penelope said skeptically. “He’s absentminded, sure, but even Sassafras wouldn’t abandon four students in the middle of an attack.”

  “Well, he’s definitely not here.”

  Another high-pitched whistling filled the air.

  “Everybody out!” shouted Anne.

  Dog shot into the air, and the four of them rushed for the exit, but another explosion rocked the room with yet another accompanying flash of blue light. The shockwave threw Anne off her feet again, and she skidded across the floor and slammed into a wall. The back of her head throbbed in pain. Clutching her head with one hand, Anne placed the other against the wall for support and rose on trembling legs. Heavy particles filled the air. The second blast had taken out three more windows at the fa
r end of the room and collapsed half the ceiling. Penelope and Hiro had landed next to Anne. Marri had been tossed against the wall as well, but had managed to keep her chair upright.

  “Is anyone hurt?” Anne called out, trembling.

  Marri was coughing but gave her a firm nod and a thumbs-up.

  Some of the flying glass from the windows had slashed Hiro’s arm, and it was bleeding. Penelope tore a strip off the inner lining of her cape and quickly wrapped it around the wound.

  “That’s good enough for now,” said Hiro, his voice shaking. “We need to leave.”

  Anne scanned the debris with rising panic. “Where’s Dog?”

  As with Sassafras, there was no sign of the fire lizard anywhere.

  “He’s probably off hiding in the dungeon by now,” said Penelope.

  Anne felt sick at the thought that Dog might have been wounded. “But he was right here a second ago.”

  “I’m sure he made it out,” said Hiro. “And we should, too.”

  A piece of ceiling came crashing down beside Anne and she jumped.

  “Let’s go!” she said.

  Marri struggled to maneuver the wheels of her chair over the debris, so Hiro helped her out. Penelope followed close behind, and Anne brought up the rear. She paused at the threshold to scan the room one last time for any indication of Sassafras or Dog. Finding none, she exited. Everyone moved quickly down the corridor. Rounding a corner, they all breathed a little easier, although they were still completely confused as to why anyone would be attacking the school.

  As they stood there catching their breath, a short man with ruddy cheeks came running up. The top of his head barely reached Anne’s shoulders. He wore a rusty breastplate and helmet and was armed from head to toe with multiple knives, axes, and swords.

  “Captain Copperhelm!” Anne shouted. A great wave of relief washed over her at the sight of a teacher.

  “What in the blazing sun is going on here?” Copperhelm barked. “And why are you all cowering in a huddle? Sassafras is supposed to be teaching you how to make a nice bouquet, not how to blow up the school!”